After a long absence due to a malfunctioning computer, two sick children, various family controversies and sheer laziness, I'm baaaaccckkk!!!

Matthew and I recently celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary. August 29th to be exact. It seems like a short and long time all rolled into one.

We didn't have big plans as we have lost our babysitter, due to the aforementioned family controvery, but we decided to grill some filets and shrimp on the grill, rent some dvd's and just chill out with each other and the kids. Not big plans but plans none-the-less, and plans that I did in fact mention to several people. One of these people being my best friend Corey.

Corey had called me that Wednesday, the 27th, and said that she had called off of work (again) because she had a sore throat and fever and was throwing up and all kinds of good stuff, but that she was bored and could she please come over and spend the day with me? Uh yeah, sure, bring your sick puking ass over to my house and infect my children who had both just recovered from ear infections, that sounds like a brilliant idea.

So after I said no, she said "well, I'll just be over on Friday then because I'm off." I told her that Friday was Anniversary Day and she was like "yeah I know, I won't stay long."

Well, she ended up coming over around two o'clock or so and when she came in the house I said that I was waiting for Matt to come home from work and we were going shopping to buy the steaks and stuff for dinner and she said "oh he's home. I pulled into the driveway right behind him. He's outside talking to your neighbor."

A few minutes later Matt came into the house with a couple of bottles of wine, a bouquet of roses and a very pretty shiney box with a nice little ribbon on it. Yay for presents! One would think at this point the uninvited guest would take her cue and make a graceful exit right? WRONG. Not only didn't she leave, she ended up staying for about another hour, hinted around that the wine that Matt brought home was one of her favorite kinds until Matt opened it and gave her a glass and then begged me to open the box so she could see what he bought me.

Anniversaries are personal between the two people who are actually married to each other are they not? So after much badgering I finally opened the box, and inside I found a beautiful 18" strand of pearls. Needless to say at this point, Matt and I were becoming increasingly angry when Corey blurts out "wow, those pearls are gorgeous! I wasn't going to come over because you said more than once that it was your anniversary, but I figured what the hell? I was with you on the day that you got married, so I figured that this would't matter." Yeah, she actually said that.

We took our wine outside on the front porch so we could smoke a cigarette and she starts whining and crying about her on and off again boyfriend and all of the perils of their relationship, or lack thereof. This is the same story that I have been hearing for FIVE years folks, and I really didn't want to have to hear about it on a day that is supposed to be about me and Matt. Call me selfish or self-absorbed or whatever, but seriously, enough is enough.

I finally just said "look, I don't mean to be rude, but we have to get going so you're going to need to leave," and Corey says "oh no, I'm not leaving until I get to see the baby." Poor little Jack was sleeping and she marched herself into the house and lifted him out of the playpen and woke him up. We finally just packed everything up and walked out of the house, put the kids into the car and said "see ya."

Later, after we were finished eating dinner, I still had 3/4 of my meal left on my plate because Matthew always makes enough food to feed the whole neighborhood and I jokingly said "hey, if I knew that we would have all of this food left, I would have asked Corey to stay for dinner" and Matt was like "shut up! she probably would have."

To top it all off, before Matt came into the house when they both first got here, she said that her sister was in for the week end and wanted to know if Matt would watch the kids so I could go out with them that night. Uh,Hello??? Mcfly??? Is there anyone in there???

All in all, it was a nice evening and I had a nice fuzzy little wine buzz going on. I wonder what the next five years will have in store?

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she said - she says

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